Anybody hate shopping for clothes because you have to face yourself in your mirror for an extended period of time? Not only do you have to look at yourself in full view set in bad lighting, but you also have to put clothing on that may or may not fit right. And you have to decide if it looks good enough on you or makes you feel good enough to buy, and the process goes on and on.
Almost every time I go shopping for clothes I end up going through the thought cycle starting with “I’m gonna feel good about myself no matter what I see in the mirror”, followed by “oh this would be better if I got a bigger/smaller size.” And then those thoughts mutate just enough to turn corrosive and I face the “if [x] were bigger/smaller/more this, I would look so good/feel so good/etc….” and “if I just looked like this person then I would get this outcome.” It is around that time that my mind starts to believe those thoughts and shopping stops being fun or exciting.
But what if we didn’t have to believe those thoughts? Once we recognize we those things our minds tell us, it is easier to stop playing it over and over on repeat.
The next thing is to recognize is the fact that perfection does not exist. I’m going to repeat that… PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST. How freeing is that?
Release yourself from the pursuit of perfection and accept your imperfections.
Our imperfections are what make us unique. They are what make us lovable. What says an imperfection wasn’t meant to be in the first please? Who says that may be undesirable, anyway?
Don’t strive to be prefect. Strive to be you.
Does anyone else experience thoughts of not being enough like this? How do you deal with them?
Have the courage to be yourself.
Today I bring you the motivational/directional phrase:
Show Up Before You’re Ready
There are so many things that I find I want to do, but don’t actually do them…and the most common culprit behind my block is that I DON’T FEEL READY. But you know what I’ve learned? You never feel ready! What makes me feel qualified or even comfortable doing anything is the confidence I’ve gained from both succeeding and failing at what I want to do. So, what can you do about it?
- Accept that you don’t feel ready….then do the thing. Sometimes just recognizing the fact that you may not be (in fact, most of us aren’t) experts at anything the first time we try it. Going into an activity with a blank slate (i.e. no expectations) makes it easier to push yourself to take that first step.
- Hold compassion for yourself. When you expect someone to say “you’ll get it next time” or “you tried your best” to yourself, it provides a safe space that helps you step into the arena and become vulnerable. (If you have not come accross Brene Brown’s work, you must. She does amazing work, especially that around vulnerability). Who would want to try something when they knew they were being judged no matter what or how they did it. So why hold that environment for yourself when there is something deep down you know you must try for yourself?
- Repeat the activity. Only through experience (sounds a lot like expert, right?) can you feel comfortable with that new level of growth that eventually makes you feel READY to move onto the stepping stone after that.
And thus, opportunities arise and life takes us to places we never could have dreamed. Stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid to express your authentic self to the world. That is the reason you are here, right?
Much love, as always,
What makes you safe makes you small.
What a phrase. Do you feel like you aren’t living up to your potential? Do you feel like you are stuck and want to be somewhere else in your life? Maddy Moon goes into this amazing concept on her blog. It goes along with the theory that if you never leave your comfort zone, you will never grow. Or that “you gotta risk it to get the biscuit” and “nothing great was ever achieved without sacrifice”.
What opportunity scares you the most? What do you want to do even if you fail? Is there something you’ve been wanting to do, but something is holding you back?
You know what I say? Just go for it.
Why do you want this outcome? Is it something that will make you whole? Will it allow you to express yourself more fully in your life?
What has been holding you back? How can you be comfortable be uncomfortable?
Bottom line: trust yourself to be the most authentic expression of you. That’s why you are here after all, isn’t it?
Love, as always,